Saturday, May 28, 2011

Hmm, I Wonder..

I'm beginning to really dislike this world. I know that I don't fit in and I'm mostly the alone kid, but that gives you no reason to treat a fellow human this way.

Sorry people, I want to voice out. I want the world to know that not everyone is like you. I want people to understand.

Any way, it seems that the more I understand, the less I understand. Confusing huh?

I can't stand the way people behave. Or is it just me? I tried my best already. Just give me a little chance, just a little one will do!!

For instance, I've realised that no matter how hard I try, I'm never allowed to join in in conversation. My mum told me that using pick up line and phrases will really help, such as "Ohh, really?" or "Hey, I heard of that before.." and waiting for them to look at you and want to hear more. Then you say two or three sentences at most. I'm gonna try that, but I doubt it's going to work cos I've tried that before.

No one seems to want to hear for me. I can't understand why. I might lack in quite a few things but that doesn't mean I'm lesser compared to you. A little chance will do. Just a little. If you don't give me the chance to learn. the chance to try, how will I ever get far and be on the same level with you?

I know that I'm not intelligent, I lack common sense, I don't have much empathy, but at least I'm willing to try and gain some of each? Is it wrong to try? No it's not. At least I'm willing to learn.

I guess being somewhere behind when everyone is talking isn't that bad. You get to eavesdrop and listen to so much more. You get to know so much more!

But I still wish that I could just be let in to a conversation. Any conversation.. About horses, homework, maths, the weather, the newest song, anything. If only...

Secondly, people I don't know seem to like commenting about me. I know I'm not like everyone but that's not gonna stop me from trying my very best to be like y'all. If I can do it on Blogger and the Lakehouse, I can't see why I can't do it in public. Are people stopping me? Or it is just me, like usual..

There was an instant when my bestfriends and I boarded this bus to get home and took the 2nd seat from the back. There was a couple behind as then. Mingiee asked me a question so I replied like how I always do. The guy behind me started to comment on the way I spoke. He imitated it to his girlfriend. Hello?! I'm right here.. I can hear you! I know that I don't speak like how my friends do because I'm more English and all compared to other school kids from school's like mine but that that gives you no reason to comment. And any way, if you truly need to comment, the least you could do is to speak softly or do it after alighting.

Perhaps I should pick up the weird accent and sentence structure that most people will accept. For example, "Now what time?" And I thought it was, "What's the time now?" Hmm.. they are not much different but I intent to keep using good English cos I want to be a comic artist and may be a writer one day.

Okay. Y'all have come to the end of my ranting session. Thank you for listening to me if you have been doing so for I have no idea how long. MTFBWY everyone!

Could I get some comments? I dunno..

~The world will be nicer, I know it~
Rogue Eleven out!!


  1. Hmm...*Thinks of positive encouragement and gives up* This is my thoughts exactly. Keep on truckin' or tryin' or something of the sort. Ya got us ;) I will get better, I promise. Wow now I sound like one of the school's guidence counselors (yes I know I spelled that wrong. I don't know how to spell it) but seriously, things will pick up. Study hard, keep with the friends you have and keep on Blogging! Blogger can be annoying a LOT! Try not logging in and using opedID or anonymous. I think this is my longets comment I ever wrote!

  2. If you press post comment when you are signed out it should take you to the "sign in page" type in your password and uncheck the "always stay signed in" box and it should keep you signed in, I know it sounds crazy but it should work. :)

  3. @futurejedigirl: Your comment made me laugh somehow. XD Thanks!

    @James and Jacob: Omg.. It works!! Thank you sooooo much~!! :D

  4. I feel your pain. I remember my 15th was rough. I really, REALLY wanted the other girls to talk to me...but they just didn't seem interested. I remember one time I was talking to them and then one of them turned around and said,
    "Oh...I didn't know you were here"
    It finally got so bad that everytime I went somewhere with them I would just come home and bawl!
    But one day I started meeting some new and diffrent girls who liked me for who I was! It was a wonderful blessing! Just be yourself, things will get better! :)

    WOW! That was a LONG comment! I think it is longest one I have EVER written!

    P.S. Also, with the accent thing...I have the same problem! I have a really deep southern accent that people make fun of. But that has gotten better over the years.

  5. I can relate. Just recently I had to spend 4 days with two of my friends who kept completely ignoring me.

    Hmmmm I'm trying to think of good advice. Oh, I know! I've got a t-shirt that says "I'm an Outcast" and then it has this Bible verse:

    "If you belonged to the world, its people would love you. But you don't belong the the world. I have chosen you to leave the world behind."-John 15:19

    I hope that helps. Stay strong girl! Things will get better.

  6. @Rebecca: I understand how to feel too. It was like that for me in the first 2 years of my new school and I would come home every day in a sour mood and act all emo. I realised then that I should try something new and I made friends with the guys in my class. It's interesting how the strangest friendships form from the most umlikely people.
    I'm so glad you found great friends in those girls! :D

    @Duchess Satine Kenobi: That was so nice! It actually made my day! Thanks! And that an awesome T-Shirt! ^_^


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