I've been having mixed feeling to different situations this whole week but one particular incident totally used up too much of my brain power. No, it's no math. It's that boy who asked me out. Ya know, that dating thing? Read this it you don't really understand what I mean: http://corran-number-one-fan-yeah.blogspot.com/2011/04/answer-is-evident-now.html
He hasn't given up it seems. Today he cried in class when I told him that it isn't good to think about me all the time everyday. Man, I don't want him to fail him exams. It'll become my fault.
Before I continue, I warn you that this is going to be a long, boring post about that crazy-in-love dude.
I just wish he'll didn't mention that he liked me this much. I want to be friends, like how we used to be. It's like we've gotten far apart. I cannot change what has happened but I wish he would stop fantasizing about all that crap (oops..) and look straight into my eyes and know that I do not love him. I know he reads my blog. I told almost all my friends my blog address because I trust them. May be I should explain here the kind of guy I'm still searching for in the world. Perhaps then he would finally understand me. So..
In Star Wars, there are characters on the good side that are so brave and strong mentally. It's like even when all hope is loss, they'll still pick up their lightsaber once more and keep on fighting for what they believe in. They never gave up. I'm sure Corran Horn would never ever give up. And all those X-Wing pilots in Rogue Squadron, they are risking their lives just so that the galaxy will be a better place one day. They take responsibility for their actions and are reliable. And they never abandon their comrades. It's their strong determination and fiery passion for what they believe in that I like in a person.
I know that that guy is autistic. I know I'm not treating him fairly by saying "No.". But I have a life too. I'm no longer that loser two years ago who always gets bullied and teased in school for being a geek. Ever since I picked up a Star Wars book and took it with me wherever I went (especially in school), people treated me like an equal. And I learnt so much about life from Star Wars books and the mature-ness of the characters. People really changed their opinion about me ever since. And they stopped caring about how badly I suck at PE and how I always cause my team to lose in Sport Carnivals. Plus, I fully let my geek side out without worries then. I also did well in school and all and people around me respected me.
Ya know, I'm sacrificing that reputation by hanging around an autistic kid. And he's a high functioning!! (That means he is quite normal still. The autism is not so severe in his case). But I've seen high functioning autistic people who behave better than him. So I can safely conclude that his autism probably lies between high and low functioning. May be in the middle. Why can't he just understand me.
I'm looking for someone like Corran Horn or Luke Skywalker!!! One more thing, I think he changed his ambition to please me but this is going to far. He said he wants to become a pilot now.. WHAT?!?!?!!! Yes, I have an obsession in fighter pilots, okay. It's because they are so brave and skilled and everything. (There goes my secret..) Like why, why, WHY?!! (Sorry yall, I'm going a little crazy already.)
Any way, I referred him to a counsellor to help him cope with unattainable love. Shhheeesh, his REALLY not my type. And when he cried, my classmates were blaming me for causing it. There goes my reputation points... Sigh, I took so long to reach such a high point and still stay a geek at the same time. (I told you I'm geeky, I count my reputation in numbers..) They blame me not only in school but also on Facebook. That means Batuhan, my Star Wars best friend from Turkey and my mum and see it!! WHY........ I'll just have to build up my reputation all over again. I know I'll get there some day.
Done. I said it. I can't bottle it up for a week. Any longer and I will explode which could cause dire consequences.
Now for other news.
A dog got knocked down by a taxi outside my school yesterday. My friend, 'Lala' told me that and she also said that her friends went to help take care of the dog and took the dog to a vet with help from a stranger. I hope the dog gets well. Pray people, pray!! It was bleeding badly, or so I hear.
I got a 14/15 for my Principles of Accounts Class Test!! Wooo hooooooooooooo~!!!!!! Yeah!!! GEEKS RULE! YES, THEY DO!! Especially Star Wars geeks, Star Wars geeks are tha best!!!!
I've got a whole week of tests next week so I'll probably post one more time tomorrow or later today and only come back next Saturday.
My Chemistry teacher put up a chart on her notice board in our science lab recently to indicate how well we are doing. She wrote our names and used colourful markers to shade into the correct section colours ranging from red to green (and blue, I think). Red is the worst and Blue/Green is the best. I've got autumn leaves. (I got only yellows and reds and oranges..) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...... Noooooooo..... Mesa is terribly disappointed. I put in a lot of effort for every assignment... I did. I did them to 2am almost all the time but I still fail all of 'em. I think I'm just not good at Chemistry. Any way, my school made it compulsory to learn it so I'm got no choice in that matter. I'm probably going to try and use my Physics marks to pass my Science exams. I love Physics and I don't know why. Hahahaa.. LOL.
Omg.. It's 2am already. I think I should go now. But before I do, I would like to ask yall something!!
I wrote my first Fanfic!!! (It's incredibly short, but nonetheless a fanfic.) And it's a Oban Star Racers fanfic!!! (Hears cricket sounds... Aww.. It's still Sci-Fi.)
Do yall want to see it????
I also did a drawing in my free period in school!
Want to see my drawing too???
I got a 24/30 for my school essay!! Same marks as 'Dust',the best writer in the school!! (At lonnnng last. Finally!!!!)
Want to read it???
Tell me in the comments below!!!!!! To all my followers and awesome Internet friends and cool Lakehouse sisters, Y'ALL ARE THE BEST IN THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU AIN'T BLAMING ME FOR NOTHIN'!!! (I did not make him cry.. Honest. I will never hurt people with people needs. Never ever. I care for them and I treat them like one of us. They are special and brilliantly talented people. Believe me, yea?)
Comment please!! <3 y'all!
Rogue Eleven out!